There are certain introverted qualities that you need to consider When you’re in a relationship with an introvert. In general, introverts are introspective. We process things inwardly not out loud. We tend to see the world around us subjectively based on values and principles and because we have a feeling-type personality, we most definitely judge situations and other people based on feelings and extenuating circumstances.
Now since you’re here seeking an answer to how to make an introvert forgive you, ever stopped to think if introverts do find it easy to forgive their loved ones?
Do Introverts Forgive Easily When They Are Hurt?
Introverts value relationships deeply, be it romantic or friendships actually. Both of them don’t come easily to us introverts. So if something goes wrong, they’ll try to look at it subjectively, and decide how to feel about it based on their judgment of your intentions.
So it depends… On you.
Were you aware of the slight you made? assuming it’s a slight and you didn’t mess things badly. It would be hard to turn a blind eye to grave wrongings you know. Introvert, or not.
If you intently did something that would hurt your introverted partner then I believe it will be hard to forgive and even harder to forget it.
Introverts are sensitive, though they may not show it. And for a sensitive person, when there’s an event that made them feel strongly ( in a positive or negative way), they tend to remember it for the longest time.
How To Make An Introvert Forgive You?
1. Be patient
I know you would want to fix things with your introverted partner as soon as possible but that may not be a good move. When an introvert is hurt they need time to think and make up their mind on how they feel about the whole situation. You stepping in will only overwhelm them and they would shut you down. But don’t disappear completely from earth, I’m suggesting two to three days here!
2. Text first
You know your introvert. if you think they’ve had enough time alone to cool off. Text them first. Because for one, you’re not 100% sure they’re over the initial stage of dealing with what happened. And two; you want to take things slow and allow them to decide. And the best way for us introverts to approach communication in such a situation without being overly emotional is by texting.
Ask how they’re doing and if it’s okay to come over or meet them somewhere to talk.
3. Be sincere, I mean it.
This is the most important thing to do if want your introvert to forgive and forget. Remember when I said we introverts judge people subjectively based on feelings? Well, I wouldn’t take it slightly if my boyfriend or “other half” was trying to get me back by making things up. It hurt deeply to be manipulated by loved ones. So lay it all on the ground. Be sincere and straight to the point. No turning in circles. God, that’s annoying. Tell them that you are being honest and that it’s up to them to decide how to look at it. Be verbal about your wish to fix things and get back to the way it was before. Then give time and give trust.
4. Listen to your introvert.
I suggest you ask them how they feel about what you did, ask them, and actually listen to what they have to say. This will definitely show that you sincerely want to solve the problem between you two and that you care. People always say that introverts are the best listeners but they don’t know that we love it when someone is being attentive and interested in hearing our thoughts and overall philosophy. One of the negative traits of introverts is keeping our feelings to ourselves and not asking for emotional support. Now If you believe you wronged your introvert, then it’s only fair to make it all about them. Make them talk about their feelings and be attentive and supportive.
5. And lastly, steer away from personality labels.
Don’t bring labels into your arguments and preferably, the whole relationship. Don’t explain your doing or interpret their reaction to it by involving their introversion( or extroversion for that matter). If you do this, you’re only placing your partner in a box and disregarding their feelings and actions by making them seem predicted because “yeah, you’re an introvert”. It’ll just hurt them even if it wasn’t your intention and you’re not even aware of its negative effect.
Yes, you should be aware of your partner’s personality traits but don’t go throwing them at their face every time you get the chance. A relationship is not personal if you insert labels in.
This is what an introvert like me would instruct a friend to do if they want a fellow introvert back :
- Be patient
- Text first
- Be patient
- Listen to your introvert
- And lastly, steer away from personality labels
Hoping you benefit from these instructions to make your introvert forgive you, and never forget: sincerity is a key factor to be totally forgiven.