Here’s What INTPs Want in a Relationship (7 Things)

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INTPs are one of the 16 personality types identified by the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. They make up 3 percent of the population.

INTPs are analytical, creative, and independent thinkers. They are often called “the architects of the world.”

INTPs are not naturally good at expressing their feelings, so they can be misunderstood in a relationship. They are not always looking for a romantic relationship, but when they do, they have a specific list of things they are looking for in a romantic relationship.

In this article, I will list 7 things that INTPs want in a relationship and also offer some tips on how to treat your INTP partner if you’re seeing one.

What INTPs Want in a Relationship



INTPs need plenty of space. They are independent thinkers and like to have time alone to explore their thoughts and ideas. Don’t take it personally if your INTP partner seems to want space. It’s not that they don’t love you, they just need time to themselves.

INTPs aren’t clingy and wouldn’t appreciate their partner to be one too. They want to feel included in their partner’s life, but they also need time for themselves.



INTPs want to feel included in their partner’s life. They want to be a part of the relationship and feel like they are contributing to it. INTPs don’t like feeling left out or ignored.

One of the common struggles INTPs face in a relationship is not being emotionally understood or being mistaken for someone who has little to no feelings.

This is totally wrong. INTPs are humans and all humans have feelings. What sets INTPs apart is that:

  • They don’t consider feelings as a priority when making decisions
  • have a hard time figuring out their own feelings let alone other people’s

So when their partners do things like emotionally withdraw or give them the silent treatment, INTPs are left feeling confused and invalidated.



INTPs want to feel respected in their relationship. They don’t like feeling judged or misunderstood. They have a strong sense of integrity and want their partner to respect that.

Respect is also shown by valuing your INTP partner’s thoughts and ideas. Mocking them, or not taking their thoughts and feelings seriously will only make them feel unvalued and insignificant.



INTPs love intellectual conversations and want to feel like their partner is interested in what they have to say. They don’t just want surface level conversations. INTPs are deep, complex thinkers and they want a partner who is willing to explore those depths with them.

They also want their partner to be honest and upfront. No games, no drama.



INTPs want straightforward relationships. They don’t like playing games and they definitely don’t appreciate drama. If their partner is not upfront with them, INTPs will eventually lose interest.

Drama and dishonesty bring with them too much emotional turmoil. something INTPs are not interested in experiencing



INTPs love to learn and they want their partner to be someone who can stimulate their intellect. They don’t just want mindless conversations. They want to discuss interesting topics and explore new ideas.

This doesn’t mean that they’re looking for someone who shares the same interests and intellectual hobbies, in fact, that would be quite boring for INTPs. They just want to feel intellectually stimulated in their relationship. In simple terms: they want a partner who uses their head.



Lastly, INTPs want an organized partner. They appreciate someone who is on top of their life and their responsibilities.

INTPs are naturally messy and laid back, this doesn’t mean that they’re lazy failures, they sure find ways to make the best out of their procrastination.

They want to be with someone who’ll push them to be the best version of themselves and help them stay on track. Someone who can appreciate their unique qualities and help them grow. someone who can help bring order to their lives.

Now, If you’re dating or married to an INTP, here are a few things you can do to make them happy:

Tips on How To Treat Your INTP Partner

  • Accept Them for They are: A bit of research and observation will tell you that INTPs are not like other people. They have a different way of looking at the world and they don’t always communicate in the most conventional way. So, the first and most important thing you can do is accept them for who they are. Don’t try to change them into someone they’re not.
  • Give Them Space: INTPs need space. A lot of space. They need time to think and figure out their own thoughts and feelings. Trying to smother them or constantly needing attention will only push them away.
  • Include Them in Your Plans: INTPs want to feel included in your life. They want to feel like they’re a part of your world. So, include them in your conversations, your activities, and your plans.
  • Respect Their Integrity: INTPs have a strong sense of integrity and they want their partner to respect that. They don’t like feeling judged or misunderstood.
  • Be honest and upfront: As mentioned before, INTPs want straightforward relationships. Don’t beat around the bush, be honest and upfront with them. They’ll appreciate it. Discuss the things you think you both did wrong and don’t humiliate their intelligence.


How do you tell if an INTP loves you?

INTPs may not always be vocal about their feelings, but they will show you in their own special way. They’ll be more attentive and loving towards you. They’ll want to spend more time with you and they’ll be more interested in your discussing thoughts and understanding your feelings.

Do INTPs fall in love easily?

They may be cautious when it comes to love, but INTPs, just like any other personality type, can fall in love easily. It just depends on the person and the relationship.

INTP Characters

INTPs are often masterminds in movies and series. They’re usually the ones who come up with complicated plans and are always two steps ahead of everyone else. Some famous INTP characters include Sherlock Holmes(Sherlock), Lisbeth Salander(The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo), Dr. Gregory House(House MD), and Spock(Star Trek).

What is the INTP love language?

There’s no right or wrong answer to this question, as each INTP is different. However, a lot of INTPs prefer the physical touch and spending quality time. So, if your INTP’s love language is physical touch, try giving them a hug or taking a walk together. If their love language is spending quality time, try having conversations with them and really listening to them.


So, there you have it. These are some of the things INTPs want in a relationship. If you can treat them with respect and understanding, and give them the space they need, then you’ll have a happy INTP by your side.

I really hope you found this article helpful! If you did and you want to support our mission to create awareness for personality types, consider sharing this article with your friends and leave us some feedback!

And if you’re interested in knowing more about INTPs check out my other articles about this rare personality type.

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Sarra is a behavioral science student and HS science teacher ( also a cat mom! ) who obsesses over typing people but can't seem to type her own self. Let's just say that for the time being, she's a cross between an INFJ and INFP!

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