8 Things Introverts Hate Or Fear Most [Plus Tips To handle Them]

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Fear is a feeling that exists in all of us. Introverts, ambiverts (outgoing introverts), and even extroverts. We all have different triggers that bring this feeling alive inside us.

But being an introvert- an introvert with high-functioning anxiety to be precise takes fear to a whole different level.

If we talk about an anxious introvert’s fears. We’ll probably be combining the effect of an introverted personality, shyness, and social anxiety to come up with the most common fears anxious introverts share.

Being an anxious introvert myself, I can assure you I relate to all of these fears listed below.

Sometimes they’re not fears per se, they may be things that annoy introverts or make them feel uncomfortable thinking about or dealing with.

8 Things Introverts Hate Or Fear The Most

1. Socializing

It’s tiresome more than fearful to attend social events.

As introverts, it’s out of our element to stick around for longer periods during social events and socialize the whole time. 

It’s dreadful, we dread going to such events because it requires much more energy than we’re willing to give.

When I think of an upcoming wedding ceremony or any other social event that requires my attendance I get anxious and overthink the event even before it happens. 

A quick tip to overcome this dread is to mentally dig through the positive side of attending these events (depends on you ).

Also, stick to your people. Don’t go around passing fake smiles and engaging in small talk for the sake of pleasing strangers.

Part of celebrating your introversion is about being content staying quiet when you don’t feel like talking, even during social gatherings.

2. Committing to a long-lasting relationship

It’s nice to imagine ourselves with someone whom we are comfortable with, and are attracted to romantically. But when this image starts to get real we freak out. We tend to doubt our happiness.

“Is this really the one for us? what if we were wrong and it turned out bad eventually? This is a commitment, not just a fling” … on and on goes our negative thoughts about this partnership.

What we don’t realize is that this fear came along with us being too comfortable, too happy with this person that our mind ( introverted, shy, and especially anxious) is starting to panic. This is new…

If it was just anybody we wouldn’t develop any fears regarding our relationship.

This, dear reader, facing a similar fear nowadays means you’re in love. Regard this fear as proof of your strong feelings towards your partner, and just stick with them for the love of god!

 3. Public speaking

This is an introvert’s worst nightmare. Being forced to speak in front of people ( be it ones you know or strangers).

A situation where you’re the center of attention and everyone is waiting for you to speak. You’ll probably stammer at the beginning of your speech, and your hands will shake like crazy.

But if the topic you’re speaking about is of interest to you, you’ll do just fine, provided you focus on a particular spot ahead of you and avoid long eye contact with one of your audience. 

A good speech preparation will help dull this fear too!

 4. Loneliness

 

Being afraid of feeling lonely when you prefer solitude over interacting with others is so ironic, let’s just give it a haha!

But to be honest, on an emotional level, This fear is the most draining to me personally.

Sometimes when I’m surrounded by people having fun together it seems like I’m the only wallflower around and no one wants to deal with me.

I feel lonely and the worst part is going home and instead of resting, I go through the experience that I just had, and that feeling of loneliness is back tenfolds.

I would get anxious people I am surrounded with would leave someday and I’ll live with this constant feeling of loneliness.

It’s an ugly feeling especially for introverts because we make deep connections with the people we surround ourselves with.

I read once that extroverts don’t ignore us introverts intentionally. It’s just that they tend to interact with the ones who seem ready to do that.

Face it, we mostly give an air of “don’t mess with me” in public (stony face anybody ?). So this may lead us to believe it’s all in our heads. Knowing this will definitely lessen the intensity of our loneliness, don’t you think so?  

 5. Job Interviews

 

Job interviews are feared by everyone honestly, I think I’m abusing the term “Things introverts fear most” by adding this. But I think it’s crucial to talk often about job interviews and how to overcome our fear towards them because … we’re talking career opportunities when this one is nailed, baby! 

It’s only natural to fear job interviews as an introvert, you don’t always get to feel like you’re in a hot seat, being scrutinized, and asked unpredictable questions.

Fortunately, there are ways for introverts to ace a job interview.

What I found really helpful for me is taking time alone to recharge and prepare myself mentally for an interview.

I would also suggest recording yourself being interviewed by a friend and reviewing your performance to see where you’re laking.

Prepare yourself beforehand for small talks and verbal pleasantries during the interview because they leave a good impression on you and prove you can work with others in a positive atmosphere.

And lastly, be professional. Don’t let your shyness stop you from showing the interviewers you’re more than fit for the job.

6. Crowded places

 

Crowded areas like trains, subways, and public places used to give me the feeling of being scrutinized and talked about and I remember it raised my anxiety to the max. It was uncomfortable and lasted forever.

I know it’s a very common fear we introverts have. This feeling comes due to us being so self-aware and observant in crowded places to the point of misinterpreting things.

I would suggest listening to your favorite podcast, and concentrating on yourself and your business rather than gauging others’ reactions to your breathing.

 7. phone calls

 

Do introverts hate phone calls? 

YES, we do. 

Why? because calling is so 20th century maybe? I mean, why would someone call if there is text messaging is beyond me! 

There are lots of reasons for introverts (especially anxious introverts ) to hate and fear phone calls. Primarily because they often come unexpectedly and so out of the blue while we’re minding our own introverted business.

When a phone call occurs you find yourself pressed into deciding whether to answer the phone or ignore it while the freaking phone is ringing! You can’t take your time to answer or plan your words beforehand which, is crucial for many introverted individuals.

We are also required to do small talks during the phone call as it isn’t enough to put up with that in person. 

Now if you’re looking for tips to stop your fear and hatred for phone calls from me, you’ll have to wait a bit longer because I still haven’t figured that out yet.

If I get overly anxious when the phone rings, I’d just put it on silent and move on with my business. If it’s important they’ll leave a message, and that’s it.

 My wellbeing comes first. 

8. Being ignored in group settings

 

We are naturally quiet, sensitive individuals who find it difficult to share our opinions and thoughts in group settings out of fear of being ignored by others, this may prevent us from enjoying these kinds of settings.

To be frank with you, being ignored during group settings or heard depends on you and your self-concept.

I would suggest you stop putting the blame on your introversion and taking offense every time people are not being attentive to you, and practice making yourself clearly heard.

If you think your arguments and added thoughts are accurate and important don’t softly speak them or hesitate during the talk, just speak clearly for you to be unignored.

Things like this don’t come by wishing, you need to intentionally import confidence, and rise up your self-esteem for people to notice you.

Are there other fears that you have and think are linked to your introverted personality? comment theme below.

If you find this post helpful please share it with your friends and help spread the word about this small community, and let’s GROW!


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Sarra is a behavioral science student and HS science teacher ( also a cat mom! ) who obsesses over typing people but can't seem to type her own self. Let's just say that for the time being, she's a cross between an INFJ and INFP!

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