When often talking about , we envision a loud and brash who is extremely full of themselves. And while this may be true for overt narcissists, there is another type of that is far more insidious and can be difficult to spot: the .
what is a ?
According to Jodi Clacks: ‘A is someone who craves and importance as well as lacks toward others but can act in a different way than an .’
, also known as or is more about image than anything.
Because while an or an may be more classically defined as someone who has an overblown sense of and a desire to show it off, the is all about hiding their true selves.
What is a covert ?
Covert narcissists are people who appear to be shy and withdrawn but harbor a () or .
They are hypersensitive and defensive, often taking everything personally.
They have a fragile ego and are very insecure, yet they will go to great lengths to hide it.
Because of their extreme shyness and lack of -confidence, they will often disguise their as modesty or even humility. But there are certain signs that you can look out for to see if someone is a covert .
8 Subtle Signs of a
1. Apparent sense of inferiority
Covert are always looking for validation, but they are never quite sure of themselves.
They often have a sense of inferiority and will constantly compare themselves to others.
This of inferiority will often lead them to seek out the approval of others. But once they feel they have true validation, it can lead to extreme feelings of entitlement, , and arrogance, especially after an achievement.
2. Hypersensitivity
While overt narcissists are not exactly known for their emotional intelligence, covert narcissists take hypersensitivity (and -pity) to a whole new level.
Everything is a personal attack and they often take things too seriously. They have thin skin and are easily hurt, both emotionally and physically. They will often nurse grudges for a long time and can be very vindictive.
3. Display of fake
often fake and concern when it is socially convenient, but they will also use other people’s emotions for their own personal gain.
Sometimes they do feel but instead of just it they will try to show it in order to get something from that .
They can often be found telling people how sorry they are or saying things like ‘I feel your pain.’ They say these things in order to get the other to do what they want.
4. Adapting the victim mentality
Even though covert narcissists are often charming, likable people (when they want something), they will also constantly play up the role of the victim in order to get .
You’ll find them often complaining about how hard life is and blaming others for their problems.
an introverted with will often feel like a victim in life and seek validation of this .
They have an overblown sense of -importance and entitlement, so they feel that everyone owes them something, even if it’s just a shoulder to cry on.
5. Passive aggressiveness
Covert narcissists are usually very indecisive but will often use passive aggressiveness to do what they want.
They won’t outright say ‘no,’ but they will make it difficult for you to get what you want or they will agree to something but not follow through.
They also like to use guilt trips as a way to manipulate people.
6. Judgmental observations
One of the ways that covert try to build up their -image is by judging others.
They will often be thinking to themselves how stupid or useless other people are, but they won’t say this directly because they don’t want to seem rude.
Instead, you might start noticing that they have a lot of judgmental observations about the world and society in general.
7. Having Grandiose fantasies
Covert often have a lot of fantasies that they won’t necessarily share but you can detect them by the way they talk about themselves.
They often have an exaggerated sense of their own importance and will often brag about their accomplishments, whether real or not.
These fantasies give them a sense of and power over others.
8. Subtly Seeking out
Just like overt narcissists, covert love to be admired.
But because they are not as obvious about it, they often do it in a more subtle way.
For example, they might act like they’re doing you a favor by listening to your problems or lending you a hand.
Protect Yourself From an
is a and should be treated by a professional. If you think you are in a with an , it is important to protect yourself.
Don’t take their behavior personally
Remember that the is a and not something that the can help. Don’t feel bad or guilty because you can’t change them.
Set boundaries
Narcissists need to be in control of everything and they will often try to control you. It is important to set boundaries with them and let them know what you will and won’t put up with.
Don’t give them
One of the main things that narcissists crave is , so if you stop giving them they will be less likely to bother you.
FAQs
What is an ?
An is someone who is externally shy and withdrawn but has a grandiose, inflated -image and internally craves and just like . Even if they’re sometimes unaware of it.
What are the signs of a covert ?
Some signs of a covert include hypersensitivity, a display of fake , adapting the victim mentality, passive-aggressiveness, judgmental observations, and having grandiose fantasies.
Can Introverts have ?
Yes. Someone with is a , period, whether they’re introverted or not.
It’s important to point out though that a lot of the introverted traits can be misdiagnosed as covert because some introverts can be genuine people pleasers and have a strong need for approval.
So it’s important to get a professional diagnosis if you’re suspicious or you think you might be in a with an .
CONCLUSION
If you’re going through a tough time with an , know that you’re not alone. There are ways to protect yourself and get the help you need.
Remember that this is a and it’s not your fault. You can’t change them, but you can change how you interact with them.
I hope this article was helpful, if you find it so, please share it and give some feedback in the comments below. Thank you for reading!
