5 Dating Problems Introverts Often Face in Their Relationships

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Dear Introverts,

It’s a dating world out there and dating for us as introverts can be a bit hard because of our unique characteristics.

But knowing the dating problems introverts often face will help you dodge a bullet in your dating life.

These dating problems are common among introverted people but that doesn’t mean that it’s something you have to deal with alone. We’ll discuss how being an introvert in today’s dating world can affect you and what steps you need to take for success!

5 Dating Problems Introverts Often Face in Their Relationships

1. Being shy at the start of a relationship

Dating can be scary and intimidating to even extroverts, but dating as an introvert just makes it worse. When you’re not used to getting into conversations and meeting new people, dating becomes a lot scarier than it needs to be.

First dates can seem like a big deal for an introvert because we don’t really open up easily and dating means you have to share certain parts of yourself, whether it’s your personal life or even something as simple as what you do for a living.

What to do: dating takes time . Your partner should be understanding about your shyness because this is normal for introverts. Try to open up little by little until you’re comfortable enough that even your walls come down.

Something else that can help ease into a relationship with an intimate partner is dating more than one person (if you’re dating casually) until you feel like dating somebody seriously.

2. Not enjoying small talk

Introverts are more interested in developing deeper relationships with people rather than just having superficial conversations about the weather or what someone did that day.

Small talk is difficult for introverts because it’s usually an uninteresting topic and it’s something we can go through the day without.

What to do: dating as an introvert means dating somebody who will respect that you’re not a big fan of small talk, but your partner should be someone who is capable of having deep conversations with you. Sooner or later, dating as an introvert means dating somebody who gets you and who can communicate with you on your level

However! you should probably keep in mind that you can’t possibly have deep conversations with your partner all the time, small talk is inevitable.

What you need to worry about is whether you’re comfortable talking to this person you’re dating or not.

3. Not enjoying PDA ( public display of affection )

Introverts tend to avoid public displays of affection in general because we’re more reserved with our emotions in front of a crowd.

We tend to be more private with our relationships and dating somebody who is okay with that can be relieving.

We’re not really comfortable in the spotlight, we don’t even like it when we’re the center of attention and It’s more difficult to show intimacy in front of others than what your boyfriend or girlfriend may expect.

What to do: Express your discomfort to your partner from the very beginning just to make sure you’re going to be with someone who won’t push you into something that makes you uncomfortable.

You can always give your partner a subtle hint like blushing or walking away if they get too intimate in public before discussing it with them.

#4: Finding it difficult to open up

As an introvert, you find it difficult to open up to your partner when you’re getting to know your partner on a more personal and intimate level.

Being close with somebody means being able to open up emotionally without being judged but for us, introverts just opening up is a challenge while feeling comfortable enough to be vulnerable can seem impossible.

What to do: Since intimacy might not come easy for you while dating just remember that you don’t have to open up immediately as soon as you start dating. Intimacy takes time and so does being comfortable with somebody.

You should also keep in mind that your partner should be understanding about the fact that it might take a while for you to open up and let them into your life

5.  Being lonely despite having a partner

Being alone is not necessarily a bad thing because introverts need their space and time to recharge. So sometimes we feel lonely because we crave attention and intimacy even though we’ve already got that with our partners.

What to do: You just have to learn how to be comfortable by yourself as much as you’re comfortable being with somebody else.

Since you need time to yourself it’s also important for you to make time for your partner and be sure that they’re not feeling neglected (not all the time).

It can help to tell your partner how much you appreciate them even if you don’t always show it. It’s all about expressing yourself in different ways.

You just have to remember that your partner is not a mind-reader and has to be told what exactly it is you want from them.


You don’t have to change yourself or who you are in order to make somebody else happy because the most important thing is to find somebody who loves you for who you are. Someone who’ll make you happier and adds value to your life.

If your partner can’t accept that then you should probably let them go.

When you’re an introvert in a relationship, it’s inevitable that one day you’ll face some dating problems in your relationships because being an introvert doesn’t mean to be alone or not date at all.

One thing I’ll want you to always keep in mind is to constantly evaluate your relationship whenever conflict or confusion arises and decide if this person is worth the work that should be put in a valuable relationship or not.

It’s important to know yourself and what you need in order to be happy because only then you’ll find somebody who perfectly compliments your personality. You can even take personality tests to find out just that.

I hope you found the answer to your question and I hope you’ll find somebody who loves you for who you are. You deserve that.

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Sarra is a behavioral science student and HS science teacher ( also a cat mom! ) who obsesses over typing people but can't seem to type her own self. Let's just say that for the time being, she's a cross between an INFJ and INFP!

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