Dating is a nerve-wracking experience for introverts. We don’t know what to expect when we’re in a potential relationship, and we have high expectations about the future. Dating can be hard because it goes against our natural inclination to avoid socializing with strangers. But you know what, dating is exhilarating and can be a nice addition to our lives as introverts if we learn to do it right. By understanding our introversion and the kind of find the best possible way to date, we can make our time in the dating pool a lot more worthwhile.
Why is dating hard for introverts?
To put it simply, if you are an introvert then you will have to put out more effort to be in a relationship because it is not natural for you to socialize with strangers. This means being able to strike up a conversation, ask someone on a date, and showing interest in them which can be difficult for an introvert.
It also means taking the lead when it comes to communication and spending time together as both of you get to know each other better.
Another reason it may be difficult for introverts is the fact that they tend to have high expectations about the future because of their nature. An introvert’s expectations will be a lot higher than someone who is more extroverted.
we Introverts think deeply and analyze things before jumping into anything, and so dating can seem like a long process to an introvert who puts in effort while waiting for someone to reciprocate that effort.
Introverts and extroverts tend to look for partners differently. Introverts want to find someone we feel we can be ourselves with; we do not like small talk and need someone who is willing to go deep quickly. This can be challenging since not everyone is an introvert and merely having a lot in common with someone doesn’t necessarily mean that they are good for us.
We’re not social butterflies like extroverts; we don’t hop from one relationship to the other because we take our time in getting to know someone, and the best way to find suitable partners as introverts is to go out there and make an effort.
Where can introverts meet potential love interests?
Through family connections, friends, school, or work is where introverts generally find their partners. However, despite the fact that introverts are more likely to meet partners in familiar and safe environments like school and work, we can make no assumptions about compatibility. There is also the risk of meeting someone you like but having them already be coupled up or simply not interested in pursuing a relationship at all. So it is best to broaden your horizons; not everyone you like will be in your social circles.
There are a lot of ways an introvert can meet a potential partner. such as volunteering and enrolling in sports clubs, book clubs, and even at Quiet and cozy coffee shops (Do you have one in mind?)
There are also a lot of dating websites designed specifically for introverts to meet other singles who share the same traits and preferences as them, online dating is a great option for introverts to land a good partner.
Online dating for introverts
online dating can be a great way to find a potential partner as an introvert, especially if you’re not very social and prefer your alone time. That’s because dating online won’t require any socializing or physical interaction with other people. You will simply need to choose the right dating site, answer questions about yourself and the kind of person you want to meet, and the website will match you up with potential candidates.
Online dating is also a great way to network and meet new people, so if you don’t know many people in your area and want to expand your social circle then this can be a good option as an introvert too.
Online dating for introverts presents its own set of challenges though. Since introverts like taking their time to get to know someone, relying solely on online dating without meeting anyone in person can be frustrating. and it’s not even realistic.
So before you start looking for potential mates online, make sure you attend some events in your area. This will help give you the courage to go up to people beforehand and introduce yourself; if that doesn’t suit your introverted self, then your best option is to be aware when choosing your match that you’ll want to meet them later in real life if you’re both serious about getting together.
keeping this in mind will help you when you’re choosing matches.
You should also be aware of scams and fake profiles when you’re dating online (Don’t be afraid to ask for their social accounts or link and verify them.)
Use your intuition as an introvert, and if you feel like something is off, it probably is.
Is it possible to date an extrovert as an introvert?
It is possible to date an extrovert as an introvert, don’t be discouraged if dating someone who’s not like you seems challenging. It all boils down to understanding that there are two kinds of social behaviors.
There are people who are high strung and nervous in social situations, those are called introverts often times because they need time alone to recharge their batteries or calm down after a social event ends before they’re ready for another one–this doesn’t mean they hate being around people it just means certain circumstances drain them quickly.
Extroverts on the other hand thrive being around large groups of people–this type will have little signs of stress and will often times be looking for their next social engagement as soon as the last one ends.
Since we both go about relationships differently, we expect our partners to be the ones that are just like us and think that dating someone who shares similar traits and preferences with us works best.
That’s not completely true, Introvert vs extrovert relationship is not about finding someone who’s exactly like us, it’s about finding someone who complements our strengths and weaknesses well.
If you’re an introvert looking for a potential partner, then there are no rules to pick the right person; they may not have your traits but still be compatible with you if their strengths are complementary to your weaknesses.
follow your heart and go with your gut, don’t be discouraged by someone’s social skills or preferences. If you feel like this person is a good match for you, go with it.
Dating an introvert may seem challenging for extroverts
Extroverts who date introverts may think it’s hard, but the truth is that dating someone who has entirely different social habits than you will certainly require some level of adjustment but that’s not really a problem if you both love each other and agree to communicate and work on your relationship together.
Some reasons why extroverts think that being with an introvert is hard.
- Extroverts find it hard to understand some of their introverted partners’ behaviors since the latter won’t talk much or feel like explaining themselves
- An introvert might not make the first move at the beginning of a relationship; sp their extroverted partner will expect that he has to do all the work.
- It is difficult for an extrovert to get to know the introvert when the introvert never says anything about themself.
- An extrovert will find it hard to ask their introverted boyfriend/girlfriend to go with them to parties or clubs because they think introverts will always feel uncomfortable in such settings.
It’s your responsibility as an introvert to make your extroverted partner understand that your temperament as an introvert doesn’t mean you hate being around people or that you’re anti-social.
In the same way, it’s also your responsibility to reassure your extroverted partner that nothing is wrong with them for wanting to socialize and always requiring some form of social activity.
You meet them halfway by learning from each other’s benefits and shortcomings. You can also always learn how to be a bit more social from your extroverted partner while the latter should try to understand that introverts need time alone to recharge their batteries.
Should introverts date each other? Introvert-Introvert relationship
Being in an introvert-introvert relationship will help both parties understand each other’s strengths and weaknesses as people and partners.
It’ll make you feel more understood and less misunderstood by society.
You will always have someone you can trust to go with you on a silent retreat or spend hours without talking at home or in the library.
When your introverted partner shares their problems and fears (which they may never do to other people because of insecurity), you understand them better since introverts share feelings more easily within themselves than with others.
You’ll connect better.
Isn’t it great to always know that your love isn’t judged for not wanting to go out every now and then? Isn’t it amazing that there’s someone who truly understands that sometimes all you need is to spend some time alone with a book or a movie?
Of course, it is!
When both people in the relationship are introverts, they won’t have to worry about meeting someone halfway or feeling pressured by society. They’ll be allowed to be themselves and live happily ever after as long as they still love each other.
The only thing I’d focus on in this kind of relationship, and especially at the beginning is communication.
Other reasons why introverts date other introverts:
- They both feel the same way about being in a relationship.
- They also know how to communicate their emotions since they understand one another very well.
- They don’t need to be with someone all the time, so introverts feel less suffocated when dating an introvert.
- Being in a relationship with an introvert is easy because you don’t need to work on how to compromise. They already know what you’re thinking and will act accordingly.
Dating Problems introverts often face in their relationships
In order to have the best time possible from start to finish, introverts should get ready for what will likely be a bumpy ride. Here are some dating problems every introvert should expect when he or she starts looking for love:
1- We introverts tend to be shy so they may not be very chatty at the start of a relationship.
Extroverts, on the other hand, will naturally assume that introverts don’t want to interact. To avoid misunderstandings and create a better understanding with your partner, you should try to communicate often.
2- Introverts don’t like small talks and consider them filler material.
We’re not the best at starting a conversation or keeping it going, we may seem boring at the beginning because we prefer to avoid this kind of routine talk. but I’m sure any introvert will know how to get deep into meaningful conversations that provide their other half with incredible opportunities for growth (also known as “gut-wrenching” in some cases).
3- Introverts don’t like to be touched, especially in public.
Physical contact requires a lot of energy for some introverts, so they may seem cold at the beginning. They can also come across as unfriendly sometimes because they’re not very expressive with their emotions when it comes time to show affection. but when they’re brought out of their shell and feel comfortable with their partner, they can be very affectionate.
4- Introverts may find it difficult to open up.
Introverts like to keep their private life private, so they may not share the same intimate details as extroverts. It can be difficult for introverts to open up because we’re afraid of being judged – which is an unfortunate side effect of being introverted.
5- introverts may not openly share their enthusiasm about a relationship.
This can make them seem less interested in the relationship, which is far from the truth. Introverts are more comfortable with showing their emotions within themselves rather than sharing them with others.
Tips for introverted daters to make their relationships work:
These introvert dating tips can help you as an introvert to get the most out of your relationship :
1- Let your partner know that you’re happy to meet them. Don’t just assume they already know. That way, you’ll avoid arguments down the road when your date feels repeatedly snubbed by your behavior towards them.
2- Introverts have a complicated way of showing affection so always try to open up to your partner, don’t be afraid of what you feel.
3- Introverts can be difficult when it comes to communication so try not to assume things and communicate more often with your partner about how you’re feeling.
4- Show your enthusiasm about your relationship, even if you’re an introvert. Try not to turn down invitations to spend time together without a valid reason because you don’t want them to feel that they are being rejected or snubbed.
5- Don’t be too hard on yourself for being the way you are, embrace it and use it to make your partner feel loved.
6- If you need more time for yourself, let your partner know instead of pushing them away. you know yourself better than any partner of yours so you should take the time for yourself if you feel like you need it.
We introverts may be more complicated internally than extroverts when it comes to dating and choosing the right person but that’s what makes us special.
Remember to embrace your introverted nature and your traits. Use them to make your partner feel loved because you can’t change who you are, you can only learn how to be the best version of yourself for yourself and your partner.
Remember that relationships are all about balance so you should always try to find an equal ground between your needs and your partner’s.
I hope this guide was helpful to you and answered your questions, if not feel free to ask them in the comments.
I wish you all the best with your relationships